


Thanks for the memories

by Odd_one_out



Category: markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-07-26
Packaged: 2018-04-04 02:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4122655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odd_one_out/pseuds/Odd_one_out
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark is always there to catch you when you jump, even if it's off a bridge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bullet

The rain drones on as you swing your legs back and forth looking down, you begin singing as you stare down at the water far below.  
"My legs are dangling off the edge" you get a little softer for the fear that someone might hear.  
"Bottom of the bottle is my only friend" you take another longing look at your beer but you've sucked it dry, so you toss in into the water.  
"I think I'll slit my wrist again and I'm gone

Gone

Gone"  
You lean over the edge enjoying the way the rough metal of the railing digs into your palms. You close your eyes and sing the rest of the song softly to yourself   
"Oh I wish that I could fly"  
Pausing you climb up to stand on the railing.  
"Like a bird so high"  
You take one last glance at the dark sky above you   
"I might just try"  
You breath in deeply and prepare yourself to jump right as you're about to let go you're grabbed roughly from behind you manage to scream before you hit the ground, knocking the wind out of you.  
"What the hell were you doing?!"  
You choke back tears and gasp for air as you roll to your side with your face twisted upward to get a look at who grabbed you. He's got black hair that's plastered to his skull from the downpour and his glasses are askew, probably from the tumble to the wooden planks of the bridge. You push him off and scramble to your feet "what the fuck is wrong with you!? Why did you grab me like that!?"

"'Why did I grab you?' You were about to jump! The waters gushing down there you would have drowned!"

"That was the point!" You fall to your knees and sob uncontrollably wishing you'd just leapt instead of thinking about it. He stands there for a moment realizing the seriousness of the situation, he slowly comes over making sure you can see every thing he's doing. He wraps you in his jacket, leaving himself to become soaked and picks you up bridal style. You are crying to hard to protest or ask where you're being taken, you eventually get ahold of yourself and ask to be put down.  
"No"  
You huff and ask why not, you only notice after he says that it looks like you've hurt your ankle that it is almost numb with pain.  
"What's you're name?" He's asked giving you a sympathetic glance.   
".....(Y/N). And don't look at me like that." He pauses in his stride "like what?"

"Like I'm a lost puppy you found in the gutter." He chuckles and you ask him what's so funny.

"I was giving you that look because I can't imagine how your foot feels right now without any meds or ice to ease the pain." You redden and turn your face away from him. He carries you in silence for what feels like twenty minutes, he pauses beside an old, well used park bench. "I'm going to set you down for a bit, you're heavier than you look." You raise you eyebrows and becon him to continue. "Oh god no! I didn't mean anything by that! It's just that after carrying you for so long my arms are starting to give out." He removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, he continues with his eyes closed and slightly scrunched. "I'm really sorry, that came out wrong." you giggle slightly and say 

"it's okay dude I was just joking." He visibly relaxes and sits next to you, he looks around and mumbles something about how this park is huge. 

"Yeah that's why I like it, it's easy to get away from everything in the city." He pauses and suddenly sits up strait before practically shouting

"I never introduced myself!" You give him a wide-eyed look and he extends his hand "the names mark!"  
You match his enthusiasm in a playful sort of way.

"it's very nice to meet you mark!" He's laughs and you just want him to keep laughing, it sounds so easy and natural compared to your forced ugly cackle. He is all of the sudden somber and looks you in the eyes and asks 

"why you were up on the railing back there?" You quickly avert your gaze to your hands and rub your wrist slightly as you try to find the best way to explain this or if you should even explain this at all. 

"I was just... I've had a...." You stop and take a shaky breath "please don't make me say it." He pick up on your emotional change and scoots a bit closer and wraps his arms around you, he's whispers in your ear 

"shhh it's okay I won't make you do anything" he comforts you as you try to calm yourself, you shiver in your wet clothing and sniffle a bit. 

"Come on my car isn't to far from here I'll give you a ride home" you thank him but decline.  
"I'm sorry did I phrase that as a question?" He smiles and picks you up again 

"thank you." The rest of the walk was silent and when he get to his car he opens your door and sets you inside before retrieving a blanket from the trunk which he wraps around you before going to the driver side and climbing in.

"So where do you live?" Shit, you didn't think this far ahead, you mumble out your address and he notices your nerves but says nothing. You try to think what you're going to do once you get back, your landlord threw you out. You don't have anywhere else to go and no family who lived in the state. You arrive far to soon for your comfort, you give him his blanket and thank him repeatedly for all he's done and when you turn to go the owner is already at the door.

"Have you come to get your things?" You stammer

"um n-no I... I...please I don't have anywhere else to go." He regards you for a moment like he might actually give you your place back before sneering

"Seems like you have a little friend there, have him hold your stupid ass up for the night you're not allowed here." Mark jumps out and ask what the problem is, you had really hoped this wasn't going to happen but then again what had hoping ever done for you. "That slut isn't allowed in my building that's what." Mark tried to calm him and defend you but it was no use. Mark turns away from your former landlord and tells you to get in the car.

"Mark I can't-"

"Get. In. The. Car." You took one look at his stern expression and got in, knowing that you'd never win that argument.  
He drove for a while just calming himself down, he pulls up in front of an apartment complex and turns to you "you will stay with me." You stare at him dumbly

"Mark! I can't do that!" He gets out and picks you up out of your seat, 

"then I'll do it for you." He picks you up yet again and carries you up to his apartment. He pauses with a blank expression "keys.... Um......." You motion to be put down and lean on your good foot while he fishes in his pockets. When he pulls them out of his front pocket he has a satisfied grin on as he unlocks the door and turns to motion for you to jump on his back, you close your eyes and jump...

Realizing he's caught you, you can't help but think about how he caught you when you were about to make the big jump...

"Mark?" 

"Hmmmm?"

"Thank you" you squeeze him a little tighter as he carries you through the apartment, you find yourself drifting off but don't fight it.  
"(Y/N)?" You reply by softly snoring.  
He chuckles softly and say goodnight before tucking you into his bed.


	2. Hurricane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's just one hell of a bad day.

You awake so a soft high pitched noise coming from somewhere nearby.

"What the hell is that?" 

You ask yourself before checking out your unfamiliar surroundings, not surprised you've often woken up in strange beds. You sneeze and mentally sigh as you begin to think that last nights little soaking might have given you a cold.  
You stumble out if bed and cringe a you feel the dull ache in your ankle. You rub the sleep out of your eyes as you peek out into the hallway 

"Ummm.... Hello?"

No answer. You make your way through the kitchen and living room area and still cannot find whoever owns the place.

"Okay.... Um bye..?"

You sniffle as you collect your shoes and find your wallet in your jeans pocket where you left it. As you unlock the front door you hear what sounds like a scream. You turn and start looking for the source of the sound, seeking to comfort who made it. You eventually find a room with the door cracked open with what sounded like a string quartet coming from within. You burst through the door and flinch as a man flies out of his chair and makes a sound resembling a cat having it's tail stepped on upon hitting the floor.

"Holy shit I'm so sorry!"

You rush over to him and try to help him up but end up toppling down on top of him in the process. You spring off of him uncomfortable with the closeness, causing him groan and roll to his side in the fetal position. You soon realize why as he cups his crotch with another moan.

"I'm so sorry!!!"

"Mmmmmmm it's okay" he replies as his voice cracks, he clears his throat and try's again with a deeper register.

"It's okay." He smiles and chuckles lightly before he starts to search for something on the floor, he starts to mumble something about glasses a you step down with a loud crunch.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me"

You move your foot to see a crumpled pair I glasses with a thin frame lying limply on the floor. You sigh and look at then for a moment before telling him you'd pay for a replacement.

"It's okay I needed knew ones anyway"

You give him a hesitant look as he scoops up the crumpled bifocals.

"No really the prescription needs to be adjusted, it's fine"

His smile does it's trick and makes you feel better. You look at the computer and camera set up he has and realize you might have ruined more than just his glasses and hopes of having children.

"Oh I'm I was just recording a video for YouTube, these horror games always get me pretty spazy"

He set his chair back on its wheels and slides into it and begins what looks editing.

"Sorry if I messed up your recording,  
I heard screaming and was concerned."

"Yelling."

"What?"

"Men don't scream, they yell."

"That's why I said screaming."

He laughs at your playful jab and clicks save as he exits the program.

"Oh! No, keep recording I'm sure you've got to replace what I messed with."

"You sure?"

"Yeah I'll be fine." 

You turn to leave and before shutting the door you pause and without turning say

"Thanks for yesterday." 

You quickly shut the door before he could respond and again return to the front door. You are about to go but decide to leave a note before you do, you try to write legibly (and fail) but you know A for effort right?

Thanks for all you've done Mr. Mark! But I'll be on my way, and I did leave $40 for the glasses. That's all I have on me so I hope it covers at least some of it.  
\- [Y/N]

P.s. I'm so freaking sorry about crushing your glasses!!!

 

P.p.s. And your balls...

You look at the note satisfied and head out the door wishing you had a way to lock it. You pull out your phone and begin figuring out where the hell you are, and where the hell your going. Once reaching the outside of the building you begin walking not much paying attention to where you're going, sighing as you start feeling stuffy. You come up to a small Chinese restaurant and your stomachs rumbles you begins to go inside before remembering you left all of your cash with mark. 

"Not the smartest move..."

You reluctantly continue on down the street. You pull out your wallet to see if you have anything helpful in it only I have it snatched out of your hands by a guy in a hoodie who was quickly running away from you. 

"HEY! Give that back!" 

You sprint after him but soon give up sense you hate running and it's not like there was anything valuable inside anyway. 

"You... Fucking... Asshole...!"

You manage to yell at the man between pants. You find a bench and sit down, as you catch you breath you feel something wet drip onto your head.

"Oh please no... Not rain!"

You shout curses at the sky as a heavy downpour soaks you within five minutes of the storm starting. You duck from cover to cover as you think about how you probably look like a drowned rat right about now. You make it back to the park where you met mark and find a bench with an overhang to shelter it from the rain, you lay down and try to make yourself comfortable before bolting upright when the thunder claps. 

"Okay [Y/N] you can sleep one night in the fucking park now go to sleep"

You're eventually lulled by the sound of rain pelting the pathetic shelter you've made your home for the night. 

"Should of known these walls were caving should of never left my heart There on the line" 

You close your eyes and relax a little more with each word.

"Cause when the shit hit the fan all we ever had ended up lost in the fire" 

You gradually get softer as you feel the familiar lucidity of sleep.

"and now nothings saved nothing gained was in all in vain" 

You let the tears roll down your cheeks and whisper the last few lines to yourself.

"Cause I'm standing in the eye of the storm and everything I've know is blowing away"

You vaguely notice the thunder claps now as you're pulled under.

"I'm caught in a hurricane I'm leaving here dead or alive and I know that I'd be willing to feel the pain if it got me to the other side"


	3. Don't fall sleep at the helm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much emotion!!!

You wake to a bright sunny morning, to bad you feel like death itself was hanging off your shoulders. You stumble out if the park and begin walking, not caring where you go. You sniffle and sneeze constantly as you shuffle down the street. You can hardly keep your eyes open and your head feels like it's going to implode.

"Miss are you alright?"

You mumble something about being under the weather and continue walking. You start to think the building look kind of familiar but can't put your finger in it. 

 

• • •

 

"Yeah she just left a note and was gone no number or anything to even try to get ahold of her"

Mark originally called bob to ask if he wanted to play Gmod, hoping that games would cheer him up after the disappearance of his little guest. But during the game he mentioned how he needed a distraction and bob pried a little deeper until they abandoned the game and just had a video chat so mark could explain.

"So all you know is her first name?"

"Yeah, I'm worried I mean what if she tries to do something again?"

"You mean...?"

"Yes, I don't even know where she went I mean she told me she had no family in state and she never mentioned any friends."

"Maybe she'll contact you, I mean you are kind of an internet sensation maybe she'll see a video and contact you that way. You did tell her you were recording for YouTube after all."

Mark brightened a bit at this comment, he immediately goes back to his normal happy demeanor.

"Yeah! Maybe she was and is planning on that! Okay I'm better now so can be go back to the game?"

"Sorry I've got to go but, you go play happy wheels or something and stay cheery!"

"Alright bob Buh-Bye!"

After mark logged off he considered playing some single player game but the option of food won. Even though it's almost noon mark fixes himself a bowl if cereal, he happily munches on the sweet frosting covered clumps.

"How about some TV... Yeah that sounds nice"

Mark thinks to himself about how talking to yourself is perfectly fine but answering yourself is a bit concerning. After flipping through several channels he decides to watch a rerun of Friends, before he can get comfy and start to pay attention to the plot his doorbell rings.

"Huh... Wasn't expecting anybody"

He puts his now half empty bowl down and goes I peer through the peephole, he can only assume the person on the outside I the door is slumped against it sense he can only see blackness. He opens the door and catches you as you topple forward.

"[Y/N]?"

You answer him with a groan, you have a blinding migraine and feel like you just did the ice bucket challenge. 

"Oh my god your burning up. Come on, get inside."

You stumble wherever he guide you and when you reach the stairs he decides it would be easier to just carry you the rest of the way.

"Mark?"

You hate how nasally and rough your voice sounds.

"Yes?"

"How did I get here?"

"You don't remember?"

You shake your head no not bothering to respond sense the talking isn't worth the pain it causes.

"I don't know you rang my doorbell and were just there, where did you go last night?"

You sniffle as you try to think, he places you down onto a comfy bed and you start to drift off right away.

"I think I went to the park."

"What!? You slept in the park with the rain?!"

He is greeted with a groan when he turns the light on, he quickly flicks it off and comes back to your side. He puts a hand over your forehead and his eyebrows knit together with worry.

"What all hurts?"

You motion to your body and let your hands linger above your head for emphasis. He goes to get you some medicine and brings a thermometer too. You open your mouth when he asks and he says your temperature is around 99 degrees.

"Alright here's some pills that will help with your fever, I've also got some cold remedy that will help everything else."

You take them without questioning any of it and lay back down before pulling the large comforter on top of you. You softly mumble the words 'human burrito' earning a laugh from mark.

"Okay I get the hint, rest for now and we will talk once you feel up to it."

"Thanks"

"Don't worry about it"

He leaves and you quickly fall into a deep sleep, a result of sleeping on a bench the night before and the exhaustion that comes with colds.

• • •

Mark quickly sent a text to bob telling him about how you had shown up and were laying sick in his bed. He gets a text later saying that wade read the message and was demanding answers. You reply with a 'goddamnit wade' and tell bob to fill him in.

"Ooooooo marks got a girlfriend!!!!"

"I do not I'm just helping someone who needed some assistance!"

Mark asks himself why he ever should of accepted the call when it came through. He debates hanging up but votes not to sense it will only lead to them both blowing up his phone.

"Soooo..?! Is she pretty? What's her name? How old? Is she moving in with you? When can we meet her?"

Before Mark can reply to any of wades questions he hears some shuffling coming from the kitchen, he finds you siting on the floor with a bowl of dry cereal. 

"What are you doing up?"

"I was hungry and didn't want to disturb you"

You shovel a fistful of cereal into your mouth and chew loudly.

"How did you make it through the living room without me hearing you? 

"I don't know I've always been good at sneaking up on people I just walked by I didn't say anything because you were on the phone."

"Phone!"

He quickly brings his phone to his ear and apologizes to wade for forgetting about him, he pauses and looks from you to the floor before handing the phone over to you. You give mark a wide-eyed-expression as you take it and cautiously say hello into the receiver.

"Hi! I'm Wade! I was wondering if Marks little mystery girl was real or not but obviously you are so! What's your name!?"

"...[Y/N]"

"Well hi [Y/N] it's great to know Mark finally picked someone to settle down with-"

You cut him of with a coughing fit caused by a sharp inhale from the shock of "mark settling down with" you.

"Holy shit"

Mark helps you to your hands and knees so you can breath, Sort of. You finish coughing and say that you want to go back to bed.

"Alright let's get you back to the bedroom"

"GROSS NOT WHILE I'M IN THE PHONE!"

Mark freezes and gives you and apologetic look, you laugh slightly and hang up the phone.

"Sorry about Wade, he has no boundaries."

"It's okay. Bed?"

You put your arms up towards him and Mark laughs at your childish display. 

"Yes bed."

Mark helps you up and you shuffle toward the stairs, he helps you more than you need and you let him know. When you get to the bedroom you thank him again and go to lay down.

"[Y/N]? Are you alright? I mean you're obviously sick but..."

He pauses waiting for you to say something but you only reply with a blank expression.

"What I mean is that a few days ago you were ready to end it all and now you seem perfectly fine."

You visibly retract at his statement and bring your knees to your chest.

"No no don't do that I just don't want you bottling everything up it's not good for you."

You sit silent for what seems like forever and he makes a move to get up and leave, before he's completely out of the door you speak up.

"It may not be what's best, but it's easy."

He looks back over his shoulder and finds you silently crying. He returns to the bed and sits next to you motioning for you to hug him by copying your childish position from earlier. You fall against him hard and choke out a sob.

"That's it, just cry. It's okay."

You calm down quickly and apologize as you sit up and off if him and dry your eyes.

"Sorry I've been doing way to much crying for my taste lately."

"[Y/N]"

He gives you a stern look and says that if you aren't going I cry anymore then you have to tell him what happened.

"Okay um thanks for everything but I think I've over stayed my welcome, I'll just get my things and go."

You leave the room and make a b-line for the door but mark follows and shoves the door shut when you try to open it.

"[Y/N], you don't have to go I just want to help. Please let me help."

You stop suddenly and turn on him.

"Why?! You think you can do better than any of my therapist?! Goddamnit I'm so tired of hearing that line! 'I just want to help' my ass, now fuck off I'll be fine. Move I'm leaving."

He moves further in front of the door, invading your personal space and making you cautiously back up. 

"No, I don think you're fine. I think you're lying through your teeth but I don't know why."

You're anger is getting the better of you, you look up with your eyes but keep your head turned downwards with a clenched jaw and when you speak your voice has lowered to a dangerous register.

"Mark I said move."

"If you leave you're leaving possibly the only person who gives a shit about you right now, do you really want to be all alone again."

"Maybe I do! Now let me through!"

You feel the tears role down your cheeks but ignore then as you try to open the door, but with mark pressed against it you can't even get it cracked open.

"[Y/N] please"

You back away and hold yourself before crumpling to your knees. You silently cry not wanting to full out sob.

"Come here."

As mark gets closer to you you begin to get even more panicked.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!!"

He freezes and slowly moves a little farther away sitting on the floor unsure of how to help. You calm down after mark leaves the room upon your request. You move to the couch to sit down, soon after mark enters the room. 

"I'm sorry I pushed you."

You don't verbally respond but instead pat the seat next to you inviting him to sit. You keep your head turned down and fiddle with the edge of your shirt.

"I lost my heart."

"What?"

You sing just above a whisper, and continue to stare intently at the floor.

"I lost my heart, my home is the ocean.  
The waves underneath will soon be my home."

"What are you saying?"

Even when he moves to be directly in front of you you avoid his gaze.

"I will fall asleep."

He listens silently, motioning you to sing louder.

"I'll close my eyes and dream of days when I wasn't all alone."

You look at him briefly before going back to staring down the floor.

"All that I know is gone."

"Can I hug you?"

You nod yes and hug him back forcefully needing the comfort.

"Come on you need rest."

You simply say no when he tries to direct you to the bedroom. You say that you'd rather sleep on the couch and not take up his bed.

"Just sleep in the bed, you're sick you need decent rest."

You lay down across the sofa and close your eyes.

"I'm not going to win this am I?"

You smile slightly and shake your head no. You grab a blanket from the opposite side of the couch and snuggle up with it.

"Alright but tomorrow I get the sofa."

He begins to leave the room but stops when you speak up.

"Mark?"

"Hmm?"

You remain with your back towards him, not even turning your head.

"Please don't pry for information, I will tell you when I'm ready. Okay?"

"Okay, I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be."

He walks away after a few awkward moments of silence. You aren't even tired but you close your eyes and try to anyway. No dice. You mess around with you're phone for a bit, and get some more dry cereal to munch on. Once the sun starts peeking through the blinds you begin to wonder if he's mind you using the shower. I mean after three? Four? Days without one, you were pretty ripe. You head for the bathroom and find a towel set out already so you think nothing of it and just hop in.


	4. Rainbow connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mark and his damn loud music

You see a mini rainbow in the mist escaping the shower curtain and smile as you start to hum. You close you eyes as you shampoo your hair enjoying the smell if it. You freeze as you here the door open.  
You slightly hear music and peek out of the curtain in time I see mark stripped and in his boxers, still oblivious to you, with headphones in and the volume up way to much. Before you could respond his hand shoots out before him and instead of finding the curtain in his hand he finds your breast. Mark makes a throaty sound of surprise before his brain catches up with his eyes, you both jump back, he trips over his previously shed cloths and pulls the curtain down with him. Unfortunately when you leapt out of his touch you used the curtain to keep yourself from falling, and it worked before mark pulled it down with you on top of it. You land directly on top of him, both of your faces express utter shock.

"WHY WAS YOUR MUSIC SO LOUD!?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO USE THE SHOWER!?"

You both temporarily forget the current situation while you realize that you're both to blame. He reddens softly as you feel your ears and face grow warm.

"Sorry... I should of told you."

"I should of asked if you wanted to take one way before this so it's my fault to."

"Close your eyes, I'm going to get up."

He does so and you freeze when his erection makes contact with your thigh through the now useless curtain. He blushes deeper with the contact and apologizes, he says that it's just early in the morning. You mumble something about how it's okay and quickly get off careful not to make any more contact with his member. You grab the towel and wrap it around you before leaving making sure not to let him get a view of anything.

You towel off in his bedroom figuring it was safe sense you left him to take a shower. You have a flashback of the feeling of him against your leg and shiver. You haven't had sex in so long and damn was he a descent size.

"NO! Bad girl! None of that!"

You quickly finish drying yourself off, not wanting to take any chances of another walk in. You put your dirty cloths back on and decide that you will go talk to your land lord today about your apartment.

"Um you're dressed right?"

You see mark with one hand over his eyes and the other securely on the towel draped around his hips through the crack of the door. You linger a bit on the v that points down towards his...  
You physically shake yourself to stop the thought abruptly.

"Yeah I'll leave the room for you to get dressed. And sorry about the whole shower thing."

"It's alright"

He uncovers his eyes and strolls towards his closet. You sneak one last peek at his half naked body before disappearing into the hallway.   
You find yourself in the kitchen entertaining yourself by tapping spoons to the rhythm of the Rainbow Connection from the Muppets. You set them down when you hear Mark come down the hall.

"I think I'm going to go talk to my landlord today."

"What?"

"I need my place back, I can't keep staying here forever."

Mark seems a little sad at this maybe even hurt. You couldn't tell him but you didn't want to keep burdening him like this.

"I'm going to go ahead and head out  
And I wrote my number down on this so we can stay in touch."

You smile with the last few words and and hand Mark the slip of paper as he becomes his happy flamboyant self and you give him a hug before leaving.

• • •

"I told you what I want as payment."

He looms over you with his fist still clenched. You hold your rapidly swelling cheek from the ground where you landed after he hit you.

"Jared, please I can't do that."

"Well that's just too bad."

You feel your heart leap to your throat as he closed in on you. Before you can scream his hand is clamped over your mouth and all the sound you make dissolves soon after you make it.

"Now I get what I'm owed."

You close your eyes as you feel his foreign and unwelcome hands over your body. He suddenly hits you repeatedly yelling about how you aren't suppose to cry. You start to see black at the edge of your vision and try to stop it knowing full well you can't even scream for help if you're unconscious. You loose the battle and the last thing you see is his sick face smiling down at you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written anything in a long time so sorry if it's a little odd for the first few chapters. :)  
> If anyone has any advice on how to improve if love to hear from you.


End file.
